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BUT NEITHER SIDE KNOWS SHE’S BISEXUAL until the end of the first episode. The thing is, Tila Tequila was so effing annoying that we actively rooted against her. , but both women were choosing from the same pool of male and female contestants. If the guy he chose was straight, the straight guy would win K and James would win nothing but a broken heart. And next thing you knew, you were actually watching , not as background noise or anything, but literally on the edge of your seat being like, “THERE’S NO WAY THEY’RE GOING TO STAY TOGETHER, IS THERE?! But seriously, another show about dating and whether or not to stay with your mate? Is there anything more romantic than a conveyor belt? But is there actually anything romantic about dating shows, DEFINITELY not. At the end of the show, the last lady standing learns the truth — and if she chooses him despite his bank account, the show surprises them with a hefty million dollar check. And the problem wasn’t that his pool of eligible bachelorettes were made up of other little people and women of average stature. And you just can’t air a show where one of the finalists is a murder IRL. She’s terrible, and her rules for love are outdated, sexist, and all-around horrible. , except instead of voting for their favorite singer, America votes on total strangers’ MARITAL STATUSES. To help them sort it all out, the dude’s mothers also live in the house, and do their best to influence their son’s decisions. Luckily, one of the moms was totally racist and anti-semitic, so it was at least fun to watch her be like “Not the Jewish girl! And then he proceeded to choose the skinniest one of the bunch as the winner. Since women are notoriously known for judging men based only on their appearance (and not the other way around!...

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